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It’s been said of The Bearded Man that he could fill several libraries with the stuff he doesn’t know. That’s way too kind. You could fill the entire universe with stuff he doesn’t know. That’s why, he secretly hopes that when we die, we’re treated to all the statistics that we could never know in life — statistics about our own existence. For example, if I told you that you cried a swimming pool’s worth of tears in your lifetime, would you believe me? What about enough to fill the Grand Canyon? How many near-death encounters did we have in our life without even realizing it? And on the flip side, how many people were madly in love with you that you never knew about? Who really WAS the one for you, and did you ever meet him/her? Wouldn’t it be nice if one day, all of that information could be found? Until then, The Bearded Man has made peace with the fact that there are simply things we don’t know.

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