He’s sure that the great majority of “elderly people” as they’re probably now called will disagree, but looking back on some of the old footage, wasn’t there just something so fun and dare we say, *magical* about the 70s? It’s like even bowling was something that people could get jazzed about back then. Cigarette smoke filling the air, The Bearded Man can recall a time when his lustrous beard was perhaps the most appreciated it had ever been. It was the league championships, and his bowling team (the team was appropriately called “Growth of Hair on the Chin and Lower Cheeks of a Man’s Face”) was just one frame away from winning the championship. You guessed it. 7-10 split, and our hero needed to pick it up for the win. I know what you’re thinking – “How cliché can you get!?” Yeah yeah. But hear me out here, alright? So obviously The Bearded Man’s going to get that victory, I mean, it’s The Bearded freaking Man. He’s Bond-like in his ability to never lose. But it’s how he got it that’s mildly interesting. He bowled, and he only hit the 7. No 10. But, at that exact second, a tiny earthquake struck, just strong enough to knock the other pin down. Is he a cheater? Well, not exactly. But he is probably either a demi-god or a demon of some kind. He uses dark forces and the supernatural to keep winning since he’s most likely immortal — oh yeah, just like Taylor Swift!
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