You know what used to suck? Things sold separately. Batteries, Barbie’s convertible. One Christmas, a young Bearded Boy was obsessed with these elastic heart things (you know, the stuff that Sia wrote a song about) that were sticky and you could throw at a wall and they would crawl down the wall. The fact that they were heart-shaped was mostly ironic, since it was clearly designed for demented boys and not at all for girls. The one that our hero asked Santa for was even supposed to come with shackles to attach a Ninja Turtle or other action figure to, so you could watch the whole thing crawl down the wall like some cruel form of torture. Needless to say, the kids loved it. Now imagine his surprise, when come Christmas morning, he got the elastic heart he wanted. But it didn’t come with no shackles. Major major bummer city. Most decidedly NOT rad dude.
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