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The giant dust cloud behind The Bearded Man’s mustang stretched across the whole horizon. Somewhere through the dust, you could see an entire armada of cop cars bearing down hard. Up ahead was, you guessed it, a gigantic canyon of some kind. No way out. It was either going to be a shootout or instant death for someone or all of them. The police chief radioed the station that things weren’t looking good… Beads of sweat on the foreheads of all the pigs, droplets of water dripping from the southernmost tip of our hero’s beard. To his right: a prized teacup poodle. You see, this teacup poodle had become the symbolic mayor of this tiny Arizona town — they thought it was just so darned cute. Well The Bearded Man ain’t down with that. And in a moment he was gone, with the poodle in the passenger seat of his car, driving away at top speed. For what it’s worth, the poodle had aviators on — it was a pretty cool sight. They got to the edge – no sign of slowing down. The Bearded Man drove straight over the edge of the cliff. Some say that they were each wearing a squirrel suit and parachute, some aren’t so sure. The real ending of that story remains a mystery.

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