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Learning to sail is fairly easy — if you’re not worried about doing it well. Or at least that’s what The Bearded Man thought at first… “How hard could it be?” he said to himself as he climbed aboard the tiny Sunfish in the calm waters of Jamaica. Sure, he had a local guide to help him out, accompanying him and yelling instructions at him from another Sunfish. Now you might think English is English, but when spoken with a heavy accent (especially under dangerous circumstances), that’s not the case at all. A strong tailwind picked up, filling our hero’s sails, carrying him straight towards the swimming beach. The guide yelled: “Pull on the sheet line rope man!!” But The Bearded Man couldn’t understand a word, nor did he know what a sheet line rope even was. Before he knew it, he found himself sailing over the markers into the swimming area, screaming at unsuspecting tourists to get out of the way. In a last ditch effort, he was able to steer the boat to the shore, awkwardly crashing it in the middle of the swim beach. Hundreds of people were looking at him, terrified. As he got out of the boat, he was glad to be alive if more than a little embarrassed. Still, the waters were cool, the day was beautiful, and he had no problem whatsoever letting the sun put a smile on his face.

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