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Plumbing is hard work. It takes all day, and if you do it yourself, there’s a fair chance you’ll ruin everything for good. The Bearded Man never considered himself much of a “handyman”, but on one occasion, he was willing to take a chance to help out a girl he liked. This girl had a small apartment, and one day she noticed the peaceful sound of a waterfall… Coming from her kitchen… “That’s odd,” she mused. She casually sauntered in, to find that her water boiler was shaking and near exploding with pressure, causing lava-like water to gush forth at deadly pace. In about 5 minutes, it was clear her kitchen would be ruined. She called up The Bearded Man, who was in bed dreaming of mustache combs he’d like to purchase. After hearing the severity in her tone of her voice, he got onto his moped and headed over. Once he arrived, he knew this was going to hurt — badly. He solemnly marched through the fiery lake in her kitchen and started wrestling with this hot water heater before it blew. He eventually figured out how to stop it, but it was too late. He suffered pretty bad burns all over his body. Still, the apartment and girl were saved. Ahhh, the stupid things we do when we love somebody.

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