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Pop Quiz time — If you had to choose, which would you rather have: A doughnut, or a slice of cake? Easy. Doughnut. Ok, getting tougher — Where would you rather be? With Nicholas Cage and Nickelback on a yacht, with no ability to return home for at least a full week, or on a deserted island with 3 barrels of rum, unlimited fresh water somehow, a sailboat that probably works, and Donald Trump as the only other inhabitant? No comment. Ok last one — If you had the whole night ahead of you, would you: ride your bike to the best döner kebab shop in town, or would you stay in the club with that pretty girl and try to win her over before the house lights come back on? See, this is kind of a trick question. Most would choose the latter, but then again, The Bearded Man isn’t like most people.

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