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Let’s take a moment to be real here. Ok? Let’s cut the crap. Can we agree to that?? Alright good. The Bearded Man looks good. DAMN good. Right? We all know it. I know it. You know it. Your bae knows it. Hell, your *mom* knows it. His beard is so fly it’s an advisor for Lockheed Martin. His facial hair is so on point the Eiffel Tower is jealous. For years and years, the world has believed that his undeniable sense of style was something that only he could possibly achieve. That might have been true — until now. BUT. Things. Have. Changed. Now, for the first time ever, The Bearded Man is revealing his Ultimate Shaving Strategies, for a low low price of 2 easy payments of $19.95! Not only that, but call *now* and you’ll get a bearded nose hair trimmer — absolutely FREE! But that’s not all! Call within the next fifteen minutes, and he’ll include his patented “Scent of a Beard” fragrance line for only $5 extra! That’s a $2,000 value for just $24.95! This is the deal of a lifetime folks. He’s taking his patented technique to the public, and together with the help of legendary barber Calvo and stylist Gigi, they’re releasing this once-in-a-lifetime package of «Beard Essentials» — exclusively made for us! Act now, supplies are extremely limited!

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